Let me start off with a story here.
Friendships make for a very important segment of our life. And when you are young, that is all that matters. It was the same for this little girl as well, let us call her Debby. Debby was in 5th grade and so was Pia. They were inseparable. No, literally. When their math teacher made them sit next to someone else, they threw a fit until they were back together. Debby unexpectedly got sick and had to take a few days off. Next Monday when she came back, looking forward to being with Pia again, she noticed her sitting with someone else. When asked why, Pia nonchalantly replied, “You are a nice girl, but you are dark. I don’t want to be friends with you anymore”.
This one statement can change an 11 year old’s life. And it did. Since that day Debby went into a shell, hating herself for being the way she was. Scared of being noticed, always trying to blend in.
Who is Debby?
You must have guessed who Debby is. The name must have given it away. Yes, Debby is me.
And Debby is all of you who have gone through something similar at some point of your life. Debby is that woman who has been asked to go to gym, cause ‘concern for your health’; Debby is that girlfriend who has been asked to shave her underarms; Debby is that daughter-in-law who has to keep her head covered all the time; Debby is that man who is single because he is ‘not tall enough’; Debby is you and Debby is me.
Are we being our naked self?
We have never been given any credit for being our true self. We always have to be something better, someone better, someone perfect. And now self-criticism has been welcomed by our subconscious. We stand in front of the mirror, naked and think of the many flaws we have; ‘My belly fat is ugly’, ‘I have a lot of facial hair’, ‘my boobs her huge’, ‘my ass looks like another person walking behind me’, ‘my bones are unflattering’, ‘I am getting bald’, and so on and so forth.
You might fool yourself by being your confident self out in the day, fully clothed; but when it comes to sex, you switch off the light and pull your covers till your chin. Don’t deny it.
Tell me you haven’t self-criticised yourself ever.
Because you have.
Take one step. You don’t have to see the entire staircase.
These three women were no different. They have flaws which they never let anyone see, they have flaws which they are secretly ashamed of, and they have flaws which makes them less confident about themselves, even if they say otherwise. But here they are, putting themselves out there, taking one step towards self-acceptance, one step towards liberating themselves.
Belly fat has been made a taboo. By none other than you and me. We wear two sizes bigger so we can camouflage it; under layers and layers of clothes. But not anymore. There are women putting themselves out there, shedding off their insecurities. The question is pretty simple; if big boobs and big butts are in, why not a big gut?
Practically every woman has shared a portion of her life with acne and pimples. But even then foundations and concealers are more a part of their family than them. Don’t get me wrong, I have treated them as outcasts as well, but now all they need is acceptance and all we need is a little perspective. Won’t you agree? Let us ease up on Photoshop and make-up and show our true naked self.
Stretch marks are seen as a work of satan. From big businesses trying to sell the idea that stretch marks should be hidden, to our individual-self refusing to see them as what they are, scars of nature; scars that shows we have lived. I have been living with them for as long as I can remember, trying to hide them, cursing them for being there and for being visible. It is time we make stretch marks a part of the ‘looking good’ package.
Let’s stop blaming society for our insecurities. Society used to care but now they have given up. After all, we have taken it upon ourselves to do the deed. Let’s change that. Let’s fall in love with ourselves. Let’s be our true naked self. Lets stand up and own who we truly are. In doing so, we will see others getting attracted to us like white on rice. Let’s experience intimacy and self-love on a whole new level.
She stands there
Alone and neglected
Craving a loving touch
Go back to her
You owe this
you owe it to her
You owe it to yourself.
Remember that day
Your mother hit you?
She cried with you
She suffered with you.
Remember that day
He called you beautiful?
You were so happy
And she was happy for you.
You wanted to travel the world
She took you with herself.
You have let her down
But she keeps working to her best.
Through broken bones, broken heart
Flu and cold, she has been with you.
Love her, love your body
What a clever thing it is
What a beautiful person you are.
Thanks to everyone who came along and made this happen.
Write to me here : firstname.lastname@example.org